someone please get this man some ginkgo.
12 / 11 / 2009During dinner at Thanksgiving # 1 at my mom’s house, we talked about and finalized plans for Christmas. My brothers end up at one parent’s home in the morning and then one in the afternoon, compliments of divorced parents…
Mom: How about you two come over on Christmas Eve, since I’m sure you’ll be busy Christmas morning doing your own stuff? We can celebrate then?
Me: Sounds fine to me…honey?…
Tim: Sure! Christmas Eve.
Mom: Perfect! We’ll all do a big Christmas Eve together. Yay!
(remember, she lives for family togetherness)
Flash forward to a few weeks ago:
Tim: Are we going to your mom’s for Christmas?
Me: Christmas Eve, remember? We decided at Thanksgiving?
Tim: I don’t think I was paying attention.
Me: Well, are you paying attention now?
Tim: Yes?
Me: Christmas Eve. My mom’s house. Got it?
Tim: Yup.
Last weekend:
Tim: What are we doing for Christmas? Are we going to your mom’s?
Me: Umm…Christmas Eve? Ring a bell? Don’t you remember?
Tim: If I remembered, I wouldn’t be asking.
Me: We just talked about this. At Thanksgiving and a few weeks ago? We decided on Christmas Eve?
Tim: Ummmm….no.
Me: CHRISTMAS EVE. MY MOM’S HOUSE. Stick that somewhere you won’t forget.
Tim: Ok. Damn…why so testy?
Me: Can you repeat it back? Because apparently the first few times something must have shorted out.
Tim: Christmas Eve. Your mom’s.
Me: Awesome.
3 Days Ago:
Tim: What are we doing for Christmas? Are we going to your mom’s on Christmas morning?
Me: You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You’re being serious right now?
Tim: Why else would I ask?
Me: I really haven’t a damn clue because we’ve already discussed this like, what? Three times already?
Tim: I don’t remember discussing anything about Christmas.
Me: It’s not coming this year.
Tim: Why the hell not?
Me: Because you’ve already missed it. Don’t you remember?
Tim: I don’t remember not having to go to work for more than two days in a row, so I think you’re probably wrong.
Me: CHRISTMAS FUCKING EVE…MY MOM’S
Tim: Wow. No need to be so bitchy. Got it.
Me: Really? Do you? Because I’m pretty sure I’ve heard that before.
The day after three days ago:
Tim: What are we doing for Christmas?
Me: The fuck?…Yesterday. We talked about this yesterday.
Tim: Well, I don’t remember talking about it.
Me: Well, I’m not sure I’m going to “remember” to get you anything for Christmas.
Tim: What are we doing? Are we going to your mom’s?
Me: Holy shit. Seriously? You don’t remember? You’ve got to be joking.
Tim: I’m not, actually.
Me: CHRISTMAS FUCKING EVE CHRISTMAS FUCKING EVE CHRISTMAS FUCKING EVE.
Tim: What about it?
Me: MY MOM’S. BE THERE.
I know it’s frustrating, but at least it’s also hilarious, in a slightly hysterical way
What’s worse is when they do listen but they remember a completely different version. Like: I hand him an envelope and tell him to mail it. I tell him it’s an order for prescriptions and it’s going to cost $120, so don’t spend the money on the debit card. So then he spends the money. I freak out. He says, “but you said they were going to put $120 on the card.”
So he hears, he listens, he remembers, but he interprets and processes this information in some parallel universe. Gah!
Thank sweet baby J for Google Calendar.
Now you can sync it with your blackberry and send each other meeting invitations. Seriously, if I didn’t schedule EVERYTHING no one would be ANYWHERE. I spent years coordinating a 24 person team of web designers – I’m the only one that has a calendar in her head. I actually have 5 Google calendars – one for each kid, one for family stuff, and one for me personally.
wait, i didn’t get it yet. when are you at your mom’s house?
franzi
Wow… really? It may be some sort of psychological thing. He’s not storing the information in his memory because his subconscious thinks it’s not important for some reason, which is odd since he keeps asking. In any case, I suggest sticky notes. Have him write a note to himself and then sign it and stick it on the refrigerator. That way you have proof.
Are you SURE he’s not doing this to wind you up? Surely? I’m convinced men play dumb. And then laugh at us when we’re not looking.
Ummm….I forget, what are you doing for Christmas?
He’s got what I have. CRS. It sucks so be nice to him.
Whoa! Maybe you should do the whole Memento thing and make him tattoo it to his arm or something.
You’re better than me. I would have gave up way before now.
I know what you should do. Grab his cell when he’s not looking, and program it to give an alert EVERY DAMN DAY saying, “Christmas Eve – Mother-in-law’s house. Don’t ask Jessica ever again, dammit!”
Then if he asks why you did that tell him he has alzheimers and you’re buying him a walker for Christmas. And some depends because clearly that’s next.
yellow sticky notes – all over the house – maybe it will work??
This cracks me up! But only because it happened to you. If it happened to me I would go totally crazy, I HATE HATE HATE repeating myself!
He’s like my dad. Get him on memory vitamins NOW. Haha. That or just write a big note and stick it on the fridge.
Oh my God. THIS.. THIS is my life. I mean I realize it’s your life, but it’s totally my life. My husband does this to me ALL THE TIME. I can’t even believe you wrote this. It’s just that uncanny. It is by my sheer willpower alone that the man hasn’t been found bludgeoned to death.
Oh wow. I think all men are like this…. or are they just pretending? I think it’s a mechanism that they use so that when they don’t feel like doing something they can just act like they “forgot.”
WOW. I totally know where you are coming from! My favorite (and by favorite I mean NOT AT ALL my favorite) lack of memory moments with my husband involve me telling him about a recent event or news story. And then he tells me about it two days later. THE SAME STORY I TOLD HIM. I inevitably say, “Yeah, I know. I told you about that two days ago.” He then says, “Oh. You did?” And then I either want to bang my head against a wall or punch him in the face.
godlizard: Amen to that…I’m glad I’m not the only one who that happens to. Sometimes I just want to ask, “Can I come over there? You know, wherever it is you keep the information processor elf? I’d like to hit him.”
Cyndi: I don’t know if I’m smart enough for all those calendars. I’d probably end up sending Tim to the vet and Maddie to the dry cleaners?
franzi: Ask Tim. He should know the answer…
Gaby: Actually, I’m never entirely sure…though some of the things t hat happen are rather suspect.
Dirty Hooker: Strangling you, I think.
peedee: Chronic Remembering Syndrome?…because if that’s what it stands for………
Theresa: That’s not a bad idea…and it IS Christmas…if I could only get him drunk enough to sit still for the needles…
LB: I should do that…along with remembering to give me a massage every day…then I can be all, “You promised, remember?!” Oh, and the depends?…you’ve given me an incredible idea for a Christmas present…more like a “Getting Older Gift Basket” MADE out of Depends – like they do those new baby diaper baskets? Perfect.
Kathryn: Yes. If only I could remember to write on them?
Amanda: ME TOO. On the second go-around, I’ll say half of what I said the first time and on the 3rd rendition, I’m silent.
Breeza: I think we need both. Plus one of those phones with huge buttons and numbers.
Amy: Maybe we could stick out husbands on an island together?
carissajaded: It’s probably the same as when we blame “the hormones.”
Lori: I’m laughing…because THAT’S HAPPENED TO US BEFORE. And it’s like, What the hell? Seriously? You’re telling me this?
dude, there is only one way to explain this: alien invasion. Zombie. I hope you didn’t have sex with the alien zombie. On the other hand, it is was spectacularly good, you now know why.
That’s hilarious considering the siblings are being considerate for their parents. The messages are funny to read… poor Tim
OMG you make me laugh. In my marriage, I am Tim and drive my magnificent husband INSANE.
OMG sounds totally like me! It’s probably cos I’m only paying half attention. I’m usually engrossed in something, and I pretend to listen then hubby goes nuts cos he’s already told me. I often tell him something that is big news to me and he’ll say ‘ I f***ing told you that yesterday. To which I usually reply ‘Oh yeah, so you did. I totally forgot!”. If you’re going to tell me something, make sure I don’t have my head in the laptop or if I’m painting!
This is what I go through constantly with my husband. Since he’s a trucker and gone a lot many of our conversations are on the phone. While he’s driving. While he isn’t listening to me. We’ve had many a disagreement because he can’t remember stuff I tell him
CRS = Cant Remember Shit.
I think this must be a man problem. I tell my husband stuff all the time. Making sure first that he’s listening to me and not playing a game, cleaning his guns, sending a text, talking on the phone, etc. It does me no damn good because the next day/week/month whatever he will have forgotten even the simplest of things. His own younger brother’s name ( 17 y/o twins with only the difference of an n or a t in their names) is my personal favorite. I mentioned one of them by name instead of nickname the other day and he said, “Who’s that?”
I am all too familiar with this conversation. Did you bug my house or something Booshy?