I hope everyone had an awesome Christmas!  Annnd if you don’t celebrate Christmas…hopefully you got the day off?  I would have posted earlier except we had to go run 7 miles this morning.  Marathon training apparently doesn’t care about things like vacation. Or holidays.

So, instead of me going on and on…I’m pretty sure I can describe the last few days of chaos in pictures way better than with words.  I think?

I learned that my hands do not make balls. They make dreidels. Yay Hannukah! Tim’s perfect little hazelnut ball…next to my dreidels.  At least I’m consistent and I freely admit to my special talent.  At least I don’t call the cookies hazelnut balls when they are made with PECANS.  Just sayin.

And even though I tried to argue that I was totally consistent, Tim was all, “Cookies are about chemistry and measuring is kind of important. Just because you pour vanilla the same way *every time* doesn’t mean it’s right when you don’t measure.“  So he made all the cookies.

And I decorated them. Because decorating didn’t require measuring. Basically? I couldn’t screw up the chemistry.  And yes, I always drink coffee with a straw.  Don’t judge me.

However, Tim probably should have let me participate…cause by the 4th batch? I think the flour revolted on his meticulous techniques. Also? He was using a ruler. To measure the thickness of the cookies on the tray. Exactly.

We took the cookies (hazelnutpecan balls, gingerbread, Zimtsterne – they’re German…cinnamon star cookies or something – and jammies to my mom’s for Christmas Eve.  Along with dinner, she made puppy chow. The same puppy chow that got me in trouble in 4th grade.  By the way? I think part of the requirement to be a teacher is to keep up with the lingo, Mrs. Eisenberg.  Just FYI.

This is Troy…opening…something. I think he went through his gifts in like, 10 seconds and I can’t *exactly* be sure what he’s ripping open…I’m pretty sure it’s probably two gifts at once.  That’s Jeff in the background all, “I’m smiling because there is a camera.  Where are my presents, dammit?”

Mason and Maddie are basically BFF. Who knew? Right now she’s all, STAY DOWN, BITCH! You get up when I say you get up.”  Mason pretty much listens cause he’s nice like that.

Lexi whored herself around all night and sat in every one’s lap, whether they wanted her there or not. Which? Not *exactly* the best approach…but Jeff seems happy about it…so I guess it worked?

My mom…reading her gift-that’s-not-really-a-gift-because-Overstock-forgot-to-expedite-the-shipment. Fucked up.

Lexi finally made her way back to Tim’s lap right before we left my mom’s all, “I’m sorry? I’ll never do it again. I swear. I mean, never again tonight?  Or maybe never again for this second? Love me?”

Then….Christmas morning.  And a “pre-dawn” picture of our tree.

“Pre-dawn” = 6:00am. And why in the hell were we awake at 6am like 5 year olds? Because Lexi decided the contents of her stomach needed to be displayed for all to see and smell.  It was all, “Merry Christmas. Love, the half-digested-carrot-mixed-with-ham-and-kibble-ball.”

Then we learned Chloe was obsessed with mice and hoarded as many as she could under her mass of a cat body.

Gracie liked to steal paper and hide under the table with it.  Though I didn’t exactly blame her…

Because Lexi pretty much took all of the crumpled up wrapping paper and ran around the house with it like her ass was on fire.

Maddie wanted the tubes.  And she had one hell of a time walking through doorways. And small spaces.

Alegre? She was hiding from pink elephants most of the day because of her early morning love affair with the pure, raw cat-nip ball.  Then?  She knocked over the empty food dish in the upstairs spare bedroom and somehow managed to fling it three feet from its landing place all, “I’M HUNGRY, DAMMIT.”

We gave Lexi and Maddie stockings.  Lexi has already destroyed 3 of her toys.  We’re pretty much going to make our own from now on.  Out of kevlar.  How do you like my Christmas morning attire?  PS? Those are the n.a.p socks I raved about in an earlier post.  Tim bought me three more pairs this year.  Yes. They’re THAT awesome.

What did I get other than socks? MY OWN CAMERA! YAY!  Now Tim can’t yell at me for messing up his ISO or something about RAW or settings or whatever because I have MY OWN CAMERA.  Also? It’s pink.

Tim got a wii, remember?  And right now I kind of need to go and kick his ass in something other than golf.  I suck at golf.  I managed a +30 yesterday. 

Exactly.

I’m awesome.