**UPDATE** Apparently? I’m not *just* an asshole. I’m a super asshole. Along with my other recognitions you’ll see…soon…I need to thank A Vapid Blond. She’s awesome and also graciously gave booshy an award last week. Then? I forgot to thank and acknowledge her, which is where the super asshole part comes in.
Um. Hi?
I didn’t like, spontaneously combust or get buried under a massive pile of SOPs…I’ve just had to abandon my beloved bloggy life. And my sanity, probably.
Thanks to the new-old job.
My days since I started the new-old job? They go something like this: drag my tired ass out of bed, clunk along outside for however many miles the marathon training plan says (I’m hating you right now, marathon. I really am), shower, sit in fuck-tastic traffic for at least an hour while I yell at the driving challenged, work until it’s dark outside or for around 10 hours – whichever comes first…sit in more fuck-awesome traffic, shovel food into my mouth because I’m pretty sure I have to eat and then do a face plant into the bed.
Yay?
In other life news?
We still have Christmas cards hanging on the door.
The dogs? Desperately need a bath.
The cats? Overdue for their yearly shots.
And all that pretty much adds up to: I suck at life.
I *did* get some good news throughout the week, though. Which? Totally helpful in distracting me while I was in the middle of considering which would hurt more: banging my head against the wall or shutting my hand in a door multiple times.
booshy got awards! Yay!
So I’d like to thank the following people - for the awesome awards, mostly, but also for keeping me out of the ER.
Angelia at You Think You Can Blog
Spot at What Passes for Sane on a Crazy Day
Also? I was especially touched that some of you handed me virtual drinks and wanted to make sure I hadn’t outfitted myself in a pink tutu and started running through Wal-Mart, claiming to be the Sale Fairy, looking for my Clearance Unicorn and swatting everyone on the ass with a sparkly wand as I fluttered by…
I know. I’m a sorry excuse for a good blog friend and a total blog slacker. I haven’t been posting “daily” nor have I been leaving comments on your awesome blogs.
It’s not that I don’t want to. I haven’t even responded to my own mother’s email. Just, you know, so you realize how behind I am. In life.
And I know, you lose friends when you don’t comment back…I KNOW. It makes you think I’m all self-centered and bitchy.
I’ll go hit myself with a ruler now. Probably the same one Tim used to measure the thickness of our Christmas cookies.
Also? I’m pretty sure someone has decided this is all a farce.
And to that I say: Believe me, Dusty. I wish I was making this new-old job up…I mean, if I could *pretend* that I had to go to work but not really *have to* go? Genius.
PS: I’m pretty sure I’ve already lost *all* of my readers because first of all, I’m not that interesting and two? I’m a sad excuse for well, a person. So I’m totally not offended. Soon? I’ll probably just be talking to myself.
PPS: My plan for total world domination? Pretty much in the shitter. Yay, me.
PPPS: Don’t think I haven’t considered stooping to a level that includes something like posting a picture of what a “Halfway through marathon training body” looks like. They keyword to take away from that sentence? Considered. I haven’t been pushed over the edge that would include such a submission. Yet.
You haven’t lost ALL of your readers… you’re still stuck with me
Oh, sweetie, hang in there. I recently started attempting to blog again, too….after the worst year ever. EVER. i am going to not only give you a virtual hug, but a virtual “before the marathon even starts” medal, because you are still training, whereas I just love to use my crappy job plus traffic plus a dirty apartment as an excuse to give up on everything. YAY YOU WIN!!! Ok, I am done being a dork now.
Yay! You survived your first week!
I was tottally coming here to post a comment to ask where we needed to send bail money to.
I thought that in your frenzy to find stuff in your new\old office you hit someone with a flying file and ended up getting charged with assult. And when the police showed up to arrest you that you just kept mumbling about finding a calendar and that you went the wrong way so technically didn’t finish; so they decided you needed to visit the nice place with nicely sound proofed walls.
Glad to see that you enjoyed the visit and managed to convince them that you were feeling much better.
Sorry that means you have to return to clusterfuck traffic and special hell called work. But you still have your faithful stalkers\lurkers and we will send bail money.
I gave you some bloggy love last week too… http://www.avapidblonde.com/?p=1208
And I am sorry but you are stuck with me as a stalker. And do you still want the post-it note with your name on it from my giveaway?
Working full time and keeping up with life can take the wind out of anyone’s blogging sails. Don’t worry about it. A daily entry is nice, but not always possible. And be proud of the marathon training. That is full of awesome.
Yeah, ur pretty much stuck with me here and on Farmville.
Take a breath and relax. You’ll get used to juggling it all again. Stop beating yourself up it detrimental to your world domination plan!
<3 ya girl. Whether u want it or not!
Welcome back to the working world. I think it is all about balance and timing or something but I still haven’t got it figured out yet.
I think you’d be a super awesome once-a-week weekend poster. Totally!!! Yeah!! Or maybe once the marathon is done, you can blog during that training time?
Or……maybe you’ll get the sucky job under control.
I got all kinds of faith. Smoochies!
A pink tutu is somewhat disconcerting.
i’m still here – and happy you survived the first week.
too bad you can’t shower or do your marathon training in the car. that would save you some time…there i go thinking all hands-on.
is the “replacement” still at your new-old job or did you only have one week of transition scheduled?
hey, just a thought. why not have tim do a guest-post once a week to keep us all happy and take the pressure from you to keep us entertained (i like the weekend-blogger idea also but let’s face it, i need a higher booshy dosage than just once a week!)
I’m still here. =)
I wrote about cow molesters and condoms this week (not in the same post because that would be a WTF?!), which you are free to use as an escape from the insane asylum that is your life this week. Marathon training? Probably the definition of insanity. At least in my book.
I’m glad to see you’re back! And don’t worry, post when you can post. This isn’t your life!
Hell, I’m just glad you’re safe and alive! I was wondering what happened to you. And just so you know, you haven’t lost me as a reader. As long as you don’t mind someone who’s nucking futs as a friend/reader?
I’m still here, too, which is good because not only do you make me laugh, but you have faithful readers like Shannon the Dork and Shelli who is nuckin futs. I totally might have to use that last descriptor for myself, Shelli. I hope you don’t mind. While I am in my 40s with three grown children, I still can’t bring myself to use the “F” word in my blog because my Moms are fans. And that would offend them. I’m a wuss, aren’t I?
Hey, there’s 4 of us running Rambling Hussies and WE can’t even get our crap together to post daily. I’m proud of us if we hit three times a week. Anyway, still here.
Guess you’ll get a little break post marathon? I assume anyway. I’m not really a marathon person. If you see me running down the street it’s safe to assume that someone’s chasing me.
With the slightest bit of understanding, I’ll let your total slacking slide. For now. Until I feel alone again in the universe.
Then I’ll just leech onto someone else. Which would blow. Because, well, what we discovered between the two of us is something no other host could offer. Fuck. This sort of blows.
But so do I in the posting department.
I feel you on the blog front. I’ve been an awful blogger lately, pretty much since before Christmas break started. But your blog is one of the few that I make a point to read everytime you post and you’ll be stuck with me for the forseeable future.
Son’t worry. We understand.
ugh, sounds like you’re hanging low. No worries, though, posting less often is not a bad thing…heightens the anticipation for the rest of us.
Chin up (especially while running). Things will improve and you’ll adjust to this crazy new routine and the new/old job. Stinky dogs are still happy dogs and cats don’t care a lick about rabies shots. I have NO life, but still have Christmas cards on the counter…so no self-flaggelation, please, you’ll make me feel guilty.
Congrats on the awards and, since you swear in a clever manner (booshy), dare you to extend your brilliance to other swear words…just my preference. I’ll read you anyway…
PS belated thanks for the email Christmas greeting–your dog’s pic was adorable and I needed the chuckle…hope your babe is convulsion free, did say prayers
Glad you are still well and half breathing in and out. That is exactly what I felt like when I went back to work. Total suck nation. I miss you daily though . That was my one nice hand out for the day so you should take it and love it:)
I’m a pretty new reader, but I doubt I’ll leave anytime soon. Your blog is too funny. If it makes you feel better, I pretty much quit blogging for, oh, three years one time. Stupid divorces and semi-homelessness, always getting in the way, lol.
Grats on your award!
Is there anything I could do or say that would help you to better understand just how much of an idiot I am?
You scared the shit out of me. Do you realize who those e-mails were addressed to? Of course you do.
I think I need the special ed classes, otherwise, you just might go over the edge out of pure frustration.
Soon? yes-NOW!
if it is not too late
When did you leave wordpress?
i was just about to comment and then you were gone.
I have no other choice (if i want to post a comment) looks like the button i have to push says submit
I’m still here…ok, ok, I just got back from Ireland…no computer, no cell phone, loved every minute of being disconnected. I think I had blog detox or something…
Chin up girl…have a beer…put your feet up…what you need is a WIFE!
xxoo
Glad to hear(read) that you are still alive! Sometimes just surviving has to take precedence over blogging. Roll with it…we’ll still be here when you find your way back. =]
♥Spot
Show us your hot shit self, Jess. I will live vicariously through your “halfway marathon bod,” and you may live vicariously through my “learning to cook everything bad EVER” extra pounds. It’s a compromise.
Even in your stressed-out state, you’re still a better writer than me. Your readers won’t jump ship. We’ll just send you internet love.
I didn’t even SEND christmas cards, and all the once we received are in a pile. They weren’t put up. I suck at that. I decided to send new year’s cards… and haven’t.
So don’t feel bad about that!
I don’t even have a new-old job, just my shitty freelance stuff which I can pretty much bang out in a day or two each week, and I can’t keep up with anything. I have one laundry basket sitting on my bed (third night of sleeping with it, can’t even be bothered to move it off the bed) and one in the laundry room which I can’t remember if it is clean or dirty. Marathon?!? I feel like I run one each day of my life, sadly my ass doesn’t look that way.
Well you have just picked up a brand new reader (found you on 20sb) so no worries. Love your other posts and your sense of humor!
i’ve been wanting to comment here for awhile since discovering you but i am lame. so, here we go.
you are fucking awesome and will not lose my readership.
Still here!
And what exactly did Dusty mean with that comment? I read it twice and I still don’t get it….
submom: I have ZERO idea. I even emailed dusty for clarification and it only got more confusing…
Heather: yay! You’ve made my week! Don’t be timid to comment. The comments make me smile while enduring the shitty job…
Tellie: yay! So glad you stopped in and checked booshy out. I mean, in a “friendly” kind of way…
Hey. I go out to have my evil alien twin tumor surgery, come home wobbly and drugged, spend hours inert watching TV from the recliner healing pod, finally regain some equilibrium so I can actually use stomach muscles to sit up and catch up on the wonderful world of “le boosh,” and you are off in SOP land working. Well, I figure between you and peedee and Mrs. Bunker, and all these other devoted witty bloggy friends, we could team up and stay the course on the world domination thingie. Keep the dream alive!