Ok y’all. I keep having the SAME recurring dream (redundant, I know).

It’s not that I’m naked or having sex with a platypus (what? That’s not…never mind) or falling down some giant chasm.

No. Instead, I dream that in some fashion, my teeth start crumbling and fall out and I’m left with a mouth FULL of broken bits of teeth.

And when I say “in some fashion” I mean they just FALL OUT. No one punches me or gives me some weird potion or hits me with a sledge hammer.

They fall out ALL BY THEMSELVES.

And it is THE MOST REPULSIVE, UNPLEASANT SENSATION ON. THE. PLANET.

Not to mention super uncomfortable because for whatever reason, I can never seem to be able to spit out the bits of teeth. In my dream, I mean.

What is my problem??

HALP ME!

Please?

I guess I should also mention I get serious ebbie jeebies when shows like America’s Funniest Videos put on clips of kids trying various methods to yank out a loose tooth and I’ve already delegated that childhood phenomenon to Tim.

I don’t *do* teeth.

And I really, really hate that dream.

And it JUST happened.

AGAIN.

I’m begging, actually.

HAAALP!

This cannot *be* normal.