if you could, would you?
8 / 28 / 2010I know this is short…but it’s kind of spur of the moment….and I just have to ask:
If you could shed your person – whoever you are now – and start over, would you?…
And if you did seize that opportunity (or lack thereof, depending on your first answer) to start over completely…to start fresh, to have your shot at being…anyone…what would you do differently?…Who would be YOU?
I know some of you wouldn’t change a single thing, because *you* wouldn’t BE where *you* are now…but if you let your mind wander….is there even a tiny part of you that you wished could be more outspoken? Quiet? Bold? Flamboyant? Humble? Sincere?…..
I’m not really asking if you like YOU.
I’m asking if there is a piece of you that you’d still like to work on/improve/change/develop…. Yet you feel that in your current “situation” it would be near impossible because if you attempted to make that change, those who know you now would think you had gone off the deep end…needed a round room with *soft* walls…lost your marbles…basically, this “further developed” YOU would not fit…it wouldn’t be “in character.”
I’m formulating my answer…have been forming it for quite awhile, actually…and I will answer my own question.
More than likely…no, definitely…my answer will introduce me to part of myself that I didn’t know before, which is important, I think.
Also: blame the cerebral dump on therapy.
It’s been making me ask a lot more questions than is typical of my *normal* self.
Aren’t you glad I had this little chat? Now, go let your brain do cartwheels and get back to me once the room stops spinning, because no one likes an incoherent typer….
….well, fine. Fine, fine, FINE. I’ll admit it: Maybe that’s not ALWAYS entirely true….incoherent typers are sometimes more entertaining than a squirrel dangling precariously on a stand-alone bird feeder…
Now, go! Think! Vamos!
I have thought about this at length and there really is no easy answer. There are things that I might change if I were to start over, exercise more, drink less, etc.. but fundamentally I dont think I would change me. The question may be less about do I like me, and more about am I who I am meant to be.
I believe we are all products of our environment. That being said can I really start over and change without changing my environment, my parents, schools, ethnicity, religious beliefs?
Can I even fully explore the possibility of fundamental change without first completely losing myself? If not, how would I ever get back from my voyage of discovery?
Have a great day!!
If I could know what I know now and go back to 18, I would.
Thought about those things too, there are a lot of things I would try differently, but only if I could get the guaranty that I’d end up with the same wife and three kids I have today. Too big a risk I think.
No I’m destined to be who I am, banging away where I am, love and holding on to what I got. AJ
There are days that the answer to this is the easiest think for me to formulate because, oh dear lord, what I wouldn’t give to be more/less this, that, or the other thing.
But then again, I’m sure we all do that at some point or another. We, ourselves, are our best critics right?
I would love to have a better knack for connecting with people. Quality, hard core, rock on devil horn style connections. I think, and mostly over think, that a majority of the relationships and connections I make with people either professionally or personally have only a depth suitable for puddle jumping. That there’s a certain gusto missing from my personality to real launch the connection into something long term or of high residual value. And yes, I am speaking about human relationship in the context of an object of a predetermined worth, but I keep a mindset that the people you meet and engage with are an investment of time, of energy, of committment. I’m rambling. What was the question?
certainly there are situations that, looking back, i wish i had handled differently, opportunities i had taken, things i had said, things i had left unsaid.
but overall i like where i am at the moment. and i agree with mark that a large part of who we are is formed by our environment.
i have had two situations where i started “a new life” and went somewhere all by myself, without knowing anyone, to do sth i have never done before. and because i did that i know i COULD do it again. if i wanted to. but like i said, i don’t. because to start all over is a difficult, hard, and lonely task (and time) that you only get to blame yourself for.
This is an interesting question because I had the opportunity to “start over” about a year ago when I moved across the country. I debated changing what name I go by and knew that I could act differently if I wanted to.
In the end, I don’t think it mattered because I’m me. I’m a little more cautious than I was previously and a little less trusting of people (I live in DC, can you blame me?). But nothing drastically, or even much different at all.
I guess the biggest change is that I try and work really hard NOT to become a DC-er or “east coaster”. I make sure that I stay true to my “west coast” attitudes and persona. Because I like that person better than the person I would become if I gave in the east coast attitude.
Cool question. Glad you gave us your own answer, after that teasing introduction.
It’s a double-edged sword. In some ways, I’d love to relive my teenage and young adult years knowing what I do now. And there are plenty of things about myself that could do with changing. But at the same time I’m quite fond of myself, warts and all, and it sort of seems like too much trouble. Oh no, I’m clearly entering midlife with a vengeance and should just buy some slippers and sit by the fire.
I have made LOTS of mistakes; yet have had LOTS of Joy and Excitement…So my answer is No – I don’t see the point…If I started again, I would still make LOTS of mistakes and have LOTs of Joy and Excitement. I would just be trading one set of ups and downs for another. I think the answer is to accept defeat graciously and appreciate what is good in life. The grass is green, no matter what. If I wanted to change something it should be in the future;not in the past.
No.
God help me should I get dealt a lesser hand than I already did.
yes
Wow……
Though I love my kids and my husband and who I am today is because of where I’ve been, I do sometimes wonder what if I had chosen a different path? what if i had gone to college, what if I was a bit more social and outgoing. When I sit and listen to the kids scream while I try to do homework while thinking of all the bills we can’t pay or the things that need to be done, I sometimes wish there was a reset button.
I think it’s ok to want to improve some part of yourself but to start over? No. To lose the memories I’ve created with other people wouldn’t be worth it. People can change without starting over.
There are times when I would totally do things different. But I’d really hate to lose where I’m at with my boyfriend now. If I hadn’t started dating him, I can guarantee I’d change things. It’s so hard because I absolutely loved college but I’m paying for that now and I will be for years to come. I’ve often wondered if I could go back knowing what I know now about both the cost and the experience, was it all worth it? I really don’t know the answer. It was the best five years of my life but was it worth suffering through horrendous jobs for eternity to pay it all off?
I’d like to think I wouldn’t change anything, but I probably would change how habitual and into routine I get, and how I sometimes get too caught up behind former shy ways/habits. Beyond that, I think everything in life is meant to, whether we want it to or not.
Not to get all philosoftical or anything, but technicality one does not know he/she “could” until he/she did it.
until he/she begins the taking action faze of attempting what he/she thinks he/she can do, then one cannot say he/she “could”. The flop side of the coincidence is that one cannot say he/she “can’t or couldn’t” until he/she quits trying. Unless of course a framed period of time is defined and limits how long one can continue attempting to do it and get it done.
Audrey B Bold is a females name that only exists in my mind (as further as I know anyway)
know whatta mean?
doesn’t mean nuthin til you prove you would
(I would, if you should like, I will prove it)
Hope you and Tim and any involved have a kik-ass Holiday Weekend
~dusti