i’m having a breakdown…halp me!!!?!…oh. i curse a lot in this post. just, you know, fyi for the virgin ears.
12 / 01 / 2010Wow, you guys. I am REALLY struggling.
R-E-A-L-L-Y.
S-T-R-U-G-G-L-I-N-G.
This week…*sigh* is an emotionally difficult week.
I am one of “those people” who get really attached to stupid things…like a movie ticket from a first date (which, by the way, I still have said emotionally attached ticket from Tim and my first date) or I get really attached to places or routines.
And this week…I have to say a permanent goodbye to everything that WAS Tim and me in Georgia. Well, not totally permanent, I guess. I have wonderful memories. But parts of Georgia that I used to loathe and complain about on a daily basis…I am now missing…desperately.
I already kind of wrote about how I feel about saying goodbye to Georgia running…and many of you were all, “But now, you have lots of NEW places and routes and memories to make!”
And I know all of this.
I’m just having a hard time.
This week will be the last week I ever see our Georgia home (or: Tim’s house that I moved into). Another family is literally chomping at the bit to move in…and they have been pissing me right the hell off, trying to make us to GET OUT faster and faster and faster. To which, we have given, multiple times at this point, a blatant HELL. NO, all, “Um…the end of the MONTH? As in NOVEMBER? Definitely…NO. And, just FYI, you “excited new homeowners” – in case you forgot, let me ever so kindly remind you that we’ve already signed a contract to close in mid-December and we’re like, IN COLORADO so, that kind of complicates things. Things like moving our shit from GEORGIA to COLORADO. You know, JUST SLIGHTLY.”
The people buying this house are the same people who wrote that letter all, “Oh! Your house feels like HOME” …the people who have never owned a house before and didn’t have any money to put down on the house and kept trying to finagle the sale price so they wouldn’t have to put down ANYTHING. The people who I fear will completely destroy this house.
Yah, I know…I can just hear you,shaking your head at me all: But, it’s the “American Dream!!”…someone gets to live in a house for the first time ever! Because they can FINALLY AFFORD A HOUSE (but only because the market is in the GD toilet)!
(and I never say “GD” – it’s absolutely terrible and I’m going to have to repent for the rest of my 20s and all of my 30s. But that’s just how upset I am)
Our (former) Georgia house is PERFECT. This house got through two different appraisals and two separate inspections by two different people and had ZERO FINDINGS. ZERO things that needed to be fixed or repaired or anything. One of the inspectors even spent an extra TWO HOURS TRYING to find SOMETHING.
He found nothing. ZERO. ZILCH. ZIP-THE-FUCK-O.
This had only happened to him one other time.
And now? Now we have to entrust this perfect house to a family who I have NO faith in to maintain it properly. (that sentence is weird…but I can’t think of a better way to say it right now…I’m only seeing red. RED!)
I know it is wrong of me to think that. I know it is wrong of me to think all of this. I know it isn’t fair for me to judge a stranger on Tim and my standards.
But we took SUCH GREAT CARE to maintain that house!!
And the sickening part? The part that makes my stomach turn over and over and over in to many, many knots? The disparity between the sale price of our (former) Georgia house versus the price that the new homeowners have to insure our (former) Georgia house for…the price that our former house would cost if it was built from the ground up…is almost a six figure difference.
SIX.
FIGURE.
DIFFERENCE.
The only reason we’re even privy to such disgusting information is because the appraiser people have to list both the “appraised price” based on the (shitty ass) housing market and the “if life was pretty and unicorns danced in happy circles with My Little Pony and we were all just building lovely houses from nothing” price in their appraisal documents and, obviously, we had to look over said documents.
And these new homeowners have to insure that house for the pretty unicorn amount.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
THE HOUSING MARKET SUCKS A BIG FAT ASSHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somehow…I just don’t think this family…is going to do our (former) Georgia house proud. I think they’re going to completely destroy that house – or worse – find they can’t pay for it (because – SURPRISE! – it’s probably a hell of a lot more to maintain than an apartment) and then our wonderful house will end up a sad face foreclosure that is vandalized and put to shame.
That house doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment.
I have zero control over all of these things.
This is probably definitely the main issue, here.
Because I am a super control freak.
(It’s something I’m working on…getting less uptight over things I can’t control…obviously, I’m failing miserably right now)
I’m writing a response letter to the family who is chomping at the bit to occupy our (former) Georgia house and leaving it with the keys.
I haven’t decided how much of a snarky tone it’s going to have…because right now I’m full of the snark.
So, in my attempt to maintain some sort of semblance of being an adult, that probably means I shouldn’t write said letter at this moment in time.
Even though I’d really rather do it now…just so they REALLY UNDERSTAND how serious I am about keeping that house perfect.
Again, probably a bad idea.
And I am attempting, mightily, here, to restrain from shooting out any unkind verbal diarrhea…..
My dream home with husband #2 – 3 bedroom, 3 bath, two car garage, upstairs game room , huge backyard, and my plants, a prized oleander and rose bush – that A-hole let foreclose. I paid EVERY house payment. It was my beautiful dream home. He just wanted to live rent-free after I moved out to get away from him. A-hole. It could have sold it and made profit (pre-crappy market). I even offered him ALL THE PROFIT to not let it foreclose. But nooooo, A-hole wanted to live rent free for NINE months. Until they evicted him.
I am still steamed almost four years later. I still drive by my beautiful house that now has the UGLIEST solar blinds. They are white and super fugly with an iron door that matches the ugly mesh solar blinds. It is awful. I can only imagine the inside.
So believe me, you will probably never get over this.
Which? Probably is not making you feel a lot better.
For what it’s worth …..I’m REALLY sorry.
When you move in to your new house, it will help.
Okay, maybe it’s because I don’t get attached to things at all, but when you sign the papers, it’s not your house anymore. The whole point of owning a house is so that you can do whatever you want to it without having to ask someone’s permission (barring construction that requires permits or homeowner association crappola).
I know that you have many cherished memories there, but you still have the memories -that can’t be taken away from you. The house is a material possession – it’s not your life.
I might say I do, but I really don’t want to live in a land where they “eat rainbows and poop butterflies” (thanks Katie from Horton hears a Who). But I think you will feel better when you can move into your new perfect (ready for lots of memories and 3am kitty freak outs) home. I also understand about wanting to hold onto things. I have a garage full of my Daddy’s stuff…… My most prized are our pictures and the ones he painted, the rest is just stuff….
Happy Wednesday!
Write the letter tomorrow, tell them about the good things in the house. You never know, they might actually take care of it.
That is hard. Don’t feel bad about being upset. Lots of memories are in that house.
Just think of all the new memories that lie ahead in Denver!
awww…that is hard. very hard. You’re allowed to have a little breakdown. hang in there.
Change is the one constant there kiddo……..Dare I say it but, It’s just a house. Concrete, wood, plumbing, etc. It’s what’s inside that makes it a home. I did see pictures of some place there in Denver that makes ours look like a hovel, So move your stuff in, be thankful you even have a house (some don’t) and make it a home. love the kittys, love the doggys, love Tim. Find some new routes to run (when it’s not so fucking cold) and remember….”if you build it they will come”…………….Run Forest Run…………
Oh yeah, also enjoy being young and healthy. This gettin’ old shit aint for pussies…….
,sdnolbncwcb k,bn ckcbiku Moe the kitty says I am right as he walks across the KB, he spells so well.
I am so sure that letting go of something like a home is very, very difficult.
We are not even thinking about selling this place, but if the thought ever creeps in I get all choked up.
I hear ya chicky. I won’t even drive past our old house for fear of what the trashy people who bought it from us have done to it. My husband has driven by a couple of times, I won’t even let him tell me about it.
However… I have another house to obsess about now so the old one doesn’t bother me much any more. This will pass. Maybe write the letter and then throw it away? Or even better, make is super snarky and then post it here. “An Open Letter to…”
Oh love… I’m so sorry! I had to short sale my condo in July and it made me so sick. It was upside-down by 100k. AWFUL. So, cheer up… you’ve gotta let it go. One house my family had in Virginia was bought and the new owners BURNT IT TO THE GROUND. In an “accidental” fire. Then completely rebuilt the thing with the exact same floorplan. WTF? Just try and give it the good ol WOOSAH!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibtZPMF9D0
You never know. They could just love it as much as you. Just don’t go visit the house. Like on a trip or vacation. So long as you don’t know, the house can always be perfect and always be beautiful. Which it may very well be. But better to not know and believe the best then know for sure and be disappointed.
Apropos of nothing, but I have finally answered your question about ‘niggle’ on my blog after being too busy to blog for a week.
Agreed with the others in encouraging you to think about what you are going to remember and associate with your place in Denver rather than dwelling on what happens to your old one. And if the new owners don’t look after it that will be a shame, but hey, at least you lived in it when it was awesome.
As someone who just went through the process from the point of view of the pain in the ass homeowners, they need to chill the hell out. We weren’t let in a DAY early, which really sucked ass because our mortgage company was incompetent and delayed our closing. Thus we were unable to move in a stick of furniture until the day before we were scheduled to return to work. It’s RULES people.
I find myself shocked that people who weren’t going to put anything down on the house were able to get a mortgage at all right now. We jumped through countless hoops, even having to submit Army Boy’s divorce papers as proof of where we got some of the depost. It was invasive and ridiculous.
You freak out, Sister.
Ok. For anyone who follows these comments…DOES anyone actually follow them?…I always forget to check “THE BOX” that says to subscribe…I digress..anyway: I just realized I never responded to ANYONE. My bad.
SO. Here we go:
Angelia (“Sims Hardy”): Thanks, girl. Now I know what’s in store. Fantastic.
Angela: Can you please just impart that “non-attachment” to me? It’d save me lots of conversations with myself.
Brandy: That’s what Tim says…once “our stuff” is in another house, it’ll make it all better….we’ll see. Also – but, it’s your DAD’S STUFF. IMHO, that’s totally different.
Breeza: I KNOW. It’s just the GETTING OVER IT part…it’s happening, though…slowly….
Jolene: I’m allowed a breakdown?? YAY!!!
Papa Guy: I feel like you’re my virtual dad. And I mean that in a good way. Also, tell Moe he’s a genius.
A Vapid Blond(e? Sometimes there is an “e” and sometimes there isn’t? Don’t CONFUSE ME!): I can’t wait until THAT is our truth…but for now…it isn’t. So I’ve decided not to get attached to this Denver house…much….
Michelle: I am so writing that snarky letter to post here….SO DOING IT.
MissCaron: Oh EMM GEE. Thank you for the WOOSAH! I loved it. Also…you totally win. That…WHO DOES THAT?! I mean, really? That’s ripe for a sitcom.
Hamlet’s Mistress: I can do that…Tim already said it’s a no-go. He just HAS TO TEMPT FATE.
sam: Ah! Niggle! Like…Tim’s knee bothering him when the weather changes…it’s niggling him?…I GET IT! Right? Also, thank you for the reality check.
Txtingmrdarcy: Seriously? You had to go through ALL. THAT. ?? I’d be having a coronary (is that what I’m trying to say?….I always mess that up with…now I forget…anyway). And? :::FREAKING:::