I’m not buying a damn toaster oven. Sorry.
Not for a birthday. Not for a Christmas present. Not for any kind of celebration.
Except maybe a wedding. Or a baby shower. Though, come to think of it, gifting someone a toaster oven at a baby shower might be misconstrued…
Tim wanted this crazy ass toaster oven that did all kinds of neat things like bake pizzas and defrost frozen food and compare and contrast a bagel versus a miniature chicken because bagel toasting and tiny fowl broiling are both well within this gadget’s realm of “possibility.”
The toaster oven that dominates over all other kitchen doo-dahs is really what it is (I don’t do technical terms very well…and I thought “doo-dah” was step up from “thingy.”)
Yes it is super expensive and no, I don’t want to talk about it.
I suppose I should also mention that the other reason Tim was in the market (I also don’t take responsibility for electronic purchases) for a new toaster oven was because the one we had is older than me and did its job halfheartedly all, “sssssiiiiiggghhhhhh….not really in the mood today….sssssiiiiiggghhhhhh….left side burn…right side bake…now go away. I’m tired.”
And baking a slice of bread is nothing like toasting a slice of bread – just FYI, nostalgic toaster “oven.”
Then we bought our new house and had our counter tops made out of THE EXACT SLAB OF GRANITE that I’m touching in this picture:
(yes, I was forced to wear the hard hat…something about safety or concussions or falling rocks…obviously I wasn’t listening)
And after seeing that rock turn into a gorgeous counter top, I promptly decided that we were not going to own a toaster oven that took up precious real estate.
Ensue debate over how many slices of bread we should be able to toast simultaneously. We managed to get over the whole “oven” part of the toaster, since we actually have TWO OVENS in our new house and I managed to get through to Tim’s logical brain that three seemed slightly pretentious.
End result of the debate (because who needs to hear all of that drama?): “two slices” is not acceptable.
Begin multiple trips to do window browsing at places like Bed Bath and Beyond, Sears, Williams-Sonoma, etc, etc, ETC to look at FOUR SLICE toasters. Toasters were like, my entire world for a few weeks. And if you’ve never lived with that kind of pressure…well, come, stay with me awhile and enjoy the onslaught of toaster-related questions to the point you no longer care if the hunk of metal toasts bread or shoots lasers. JUST PICK ONE.
Finally, finally (OMG. THANK. YOU) one afternoon, something clicked.
Tim: Yah…those four slice ones ARE big.
me: Um. I know. Too big.
Tim: But we’ll only be able to make TWO PIECES OF TOAST AT ONCE.
(still, to this day, my brain cannot understand that statement)
me: ok….point being?…
Tim: A two-slicer means you have to wait for your toast.
me: If that’s the worst possible scenario from a two slice toaster, then I’m probably making out pretty damn well.
Tim: As long as you remember that the next time I’m eating toast. Don’t come cryin to me with your sad, soggy bread.
me: Save THAT.
End result? TWO SLICE TOASTER FOR THE WIN!
(and if you think we’re wasting time on stupid debates, this isn’t even the worst one we’ve had. The worst in recent memory was a super heated debate regarding if the thickness of a single serving Horizon Organic chocolate milk box straw had changed since the last time we purchased them. Annnd….jury’s still out)
first time i saw the 4-slice-toaster i wondered who needed 4 slices of toast at once. apparently tim is not one of those people (anymore). lol
It sounds like, as long as Tim doesn’t have to wait for HIS toast everything will be okay.
Anyhooo…. nice counter tops and I like the hard hat.
Matt (my boyfriend) can never, ever see that fancyschmancy toaster oven. He’ll give me hugs and make a pouty face and I will never hear the end of it. Oh, and I really like that rock behind you. It is nice! Haha, because it actually is gneiss. Yeah, I’m a rock nerd.
LOVE the counter top stuff. Jealous right now. I dream of a day when I will have a proper kitchen. BTW, proper kitchen = one with more than 3 total cabinets.
We’re not toaster oven people, I keep my toaster and oven separate. I do have a KitchenAid 4 slice toaster, instead of 4 slots it has two super long ones. It’s nice for toasting homemade stuff that tends to be wider.
I would have like to have been a fly on your shoulder for like, the first trip of this venture. Then? I’d have buzzed my way up to Tim’s head, wing-slapped it, tickled few nose hairs, and made my way back to the house to land and vomit all over the counter tops.
Debate on flies…and….go.
counter top – awesomeness. And toaster oven? It’s nice but I am one for simplicity in that department, the cheaper the better, as it does the same thing to me ;-P
i said the same thing when i made the switch to granite: i want to leave it uncluttered. no more toaster oven. no more showing the knives, cooking utensils, pasta, olive oils, etc. i’m showing this motherfucking expensive granite! the toaster and coffee maker are just lucky they made the cut not to be hidden in a drawer or cabinet never to be seen.
This post cracks me up because it’s so similar to the ridiculous debates I have with my husband! Like another commenter – we are not toaster oven people, but we do have a 4-slice toaster. This came along with the husband when we got married (why he needed 4 pieces of toast at once as a single guy is also beyond me)…
franzi: oh…he is. He’s just…in denial?
Brandy: exactly. And thank you so much!
Maureen: We have a WHAT? Can you pronounce that for me….? Is that like a silent “g” or a silent “n”…?….
Michelle: It will happen girl! It’ll happen! A two slicer with an option for FOUR? Thank the toaster gods Tim didn’t see THAT.
Jess: You so should have been there. Also: fly debate….coming.
Jolene: Practicality. I love that. We’re more….eclecticish….
pattypunker: Hi! Thank you for stopping in! Love your little rocker chick cartoon! Also: That was my thought exactly. EXACTLY.
mm: Single guys like to eat, I guess…or maybe it’s to be “extra prepared” in case the girl they brought home REALLY LIKES TOAST. ??
I like your blog! You left me a comment on mine last night, and so I thought I’d check yours out. I HATE toaster ovens and I totally side with you. Your husband had no idea what he was talking about.
I think you have a new follower! Is there a place to make it official? I didn’t see a place. . .
carolyn: Thank you! Toaster ovens….such a polarizing topic, eh? Also: I sent you an email
Oh, haha, the stripey rock behind you. It’s spelled gneiss, but pronounced like “nice.” The granite is also nice, but it’s not gneiss.
You can NEVER go wrong with a Cusinart. Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting today
Maureen: Oh….so our kind of rock is NOT a genisis…or whatever…a NICE? Is this a bad thing? Oh…gneiss. There it is….
Mrs. Tuna: Agreed. Also: you are so welcome! Thanks for coming by mine
That is an AWESOME toaster!
Oregon Sunshine: No, you are definitely NOT crazy. And, IMHO, that “Southern Hospitality” is all a fairytale….at least in Atlanta. Tim says drive out to the “kountry” and you’ll find a sweet Miss. Belle willing to serve you sweet tea.
Mary: I know, right?! And it’s TINY! The Tiny Toaster.