(I really can’t believe I’m actually doing this…but I am)

(Simon, if by some random chance this post ever happens across your desk or blackberry or whatever, feel free to skip the intro piece…it really doesn’t apply to what I want to say…to you)

So, last night I found the 24/7/365 Oprah channel.  I know.  I know.  But you gotta admit, she made a billion dollar machine from nothing.

That’s kind of impressive.

Anyway, so her Master Class show happened to be on during my discovery of OWN (“Oprah Winfrey Network” – how telling).  If you didn’t know Oprah HAD her own TV channel OR if you did and you’ve never seen Master Class, it’s basically her plucking someone from the world of I MADE IT and I MADE IT BIG and then she interviews them.

Last night was Simon Cowell.

All previous information I had about him was mostly negative.  Well, 99.9% negative.  Egotistical and mean and full of his pompous, British ass.

Then I watched part of his interview.

Hence, this letter (as in: Simon, this is where you should start reading)

****

Dear Simon,

I had no idea there was more to you than just…well, you.  I mean, I know you *get* the entertainment industry.  That much is obvious, what with the buckets of money you  make and attention you receive.  A good word from you is better than gold to an aspiring “person of talent.”  It’s like if you think they’re great, so should the entire world.

But you make your (televised) self so hard to like!  I mean, I get that part, too.  I get the crusty exterior.  I understand that you cannot throw out glitter and rainbows to everyone who *thinks* they’ve “got it.”

Because, let’s just all be honest, most of the population doesn’t have anything but the desire for lots of dollars and a fleeting dream.

Then, last night, you threw in this curve ball.  See, I’ve been struggling, mightily, with my “purpose.”  Why am I here?  Why is “who I am supposed to be” taking SO LONG?  Why hasn’t anyone seen what I have to offer?  Why doesn’t anyone given me a chance?  And by all of these questions, I definitely do not mean some kind of singing anything.  I can, at least, admit where my talents lie and where they do not.  However, I am Type A, goal oriented, need to check-it-off-the-list type of person.  And for the past few years, there has been no checking of anything. 

I just keep flailing.

If you must know, where I believe my talents do fall is in writing.  I may not be able to sing my words, but I can write the hell out of a feeling or a moment or a memory.  I want to write…but not just to write.  I write for people to read.  I write for people to relate…to smile or cry or throw a punch at the wall.  Whatever it takes for them to deal with the thing that I’ve stirred up on the inside…that is my goal.

But nothing is happening.  I have this vague blog with a small audience and I’ve felt powerless in the world of writers and publishers and chances.

Then, last night, on your interview with Oprah, there was one sentence that made me realize that what I want doesn’t just pop out and fall at my feet…that the kind of work required to obtain what I desire is on par with things like my previous marathon training.  That maybe I really am on the way to my dream…I’m just in training right now.

Anyhow, what you said that threw a wrench in my whole downward spiral of “why” was, “it takes a long time to be great.”

You have no idea how much I needed to hear that one, simple sentence.

Thank you.

The Aspiring Writer (who realizes there is more to you, now),

Jessica