sinking ship. please help.
5 / 11 / 2011***Let me first say that I fully plan on returning to my sarcastic self. I just needed a moment.***
Hello my lovelies!
I’m kind of in a state of WTF.
And I mean this in more of a conundrum kind of WTF, not an angry one.
I’ve always sucked at popularity contests. I never win them. I was never THAT GIRL.
But I want to be THAT GIRL. I want to! (insert whining)
I feel like…because I DON’T feel like THAT GIRL, I’ve kind of disconnected myself with you…which isn’t your fault. It is my own. Yet, I seem to have lost some of my most loyal followers ever…and this really bothers me.
What did I do?
What am I not doing?
If I somehow offended you…I sincerely apologize. I’m so wrapped up in ME ME ME all the time that I probably didn’t even see what I did…which, again, is my completely fault and is something I am trying to work on.
Please help me figure it out…or tell me what I’m not doing OR what I am doing that I probably shouldn’t be doing OR what I need to be doing.
Even if you’re a stalker…your opinion matters…a lot. You don’t even have to comment. You can email me (jessica@booshy.com).
My bloggy friends were my rock with this whole move across the country thing…and it seems like (almost) everyone abandoned ship.
Which, again, is probably my fault.
But I am willing to fix this…or work on whatever…I just need help.
Your help.
I’m here!
If you can, try not to “try” so hard – Just be. Share your stories, share your thoughts, but don’t try to make your blog become something, force it to take a shape – let it tell you what shape it wants to be.
I know, easier said than done.
I’ve been in your shoes. Try having a friend like Ree whose blog takes off like a hot air balloon. At first I wondered why mine didn’t take off like that, but now I know. That chick can write! I’m just pretending!
Seriously, after my little whine fest to McD, I decided to just write for myself. I enjoyed it, and it was almost therapeutic.
Write for you! I agree with Anne, don’t “try” so hard.
I’m new, so I don’t know what you’ve changed (stalking you via your archives is on my to-do list), but did you stop updating as often because of the move? Or shortly thereafter? I’ve certainly given up on blogs when the writer stopped updating regularly, but I’m talking about a 4-month lapse before I finally gave it up.
Don’t worry about it being all about you, you, you. Personal blogs are like that. If your readers get tired of hearing about you (and things that interest you), there’s not much you can do about it. As long as you enjoy writing, you’re doing it it right.
Write about whatever you want, whenever you want. If you try to please a horde of faceless, fickle readers, you may not be writing what you want, and if you’re not writing what you want, what’s the point?
Anne: You are right…I know…and part of me wants to do this while the other part…because of what I want to talk about…is hesitant….
Julie: You know…I never thought about it like that. I cannot even imagine how that must feel. I don’t always understand why some blogs take off and others do not. Ree is an awesome writer…but there are other popular blogs where the material isn’t THAT GREAT…yet, there they are…popular.
Zannah: I did take a small break…but it wasn’t for more than a month…but maybe that was part of it. I have no idea. And as you pilfer through the archives…tell me what you like and what you didn’t? I like feedback. Even though I need to write what I like…which I do try to do…it helps to know what connects people…what makes them feel like they are a part of this whole process. Maybe that is a and idea…but that’s just me.
Well, I’m new to your blog and you haven’t offended me! I have noticed that things in general seem slow around bloggyland lately. I blame spring craziness.
I do know that it’s hard not to obsess, so I’m not going to offer advice on that front, but I did want to let you know that I enjoy your humor!
Jess, I’ve loved your writing from day 1 (meaning the day I found you like a year or so ago). It was always so personal. Not always funny, but what in life is. It was YOU. And it was awesome. It seems like you got caught up in this “need to write with purpose” so much that you didn’t even realize that your writing and your blog and your stories have a flair all their own. I’ve said before (in my interview that I won with my cunning wit) that you DO write with purpose. You just don’t think you do. And somewhere just in the past month or so your writing has changed somewhat. Still good, but it just doesn’t seem to just be YOU putting YOU out there. That’s just me though, world’s worst blogger, so take it with a grain of salt. But yeah, that would be my thought.
I’m still here, even when I’m too busy (or lazy) to comment! And I know how you feel. It’s frustrating when you can’t figure out what’s “wrong”. But, really, there isn’t anything wrong. People change. People are fickle. And for sure, people don’t know what they want or why they like what they like. I have to agree with the others, you don’t have to be anything other than you happy self and you certainly don’t have to “try”, as Anne put it, to be anything other than yourself. There is no magic formula. You just have to be you. Some people will click with you, some won’t. You can’t force it and it doesn’t reflect on you if they don’t. It just is. (I’ve learned that the hard way, sadly.)
Also, I don’t know about the blog circles you traverse, but I’ve noticed an overall decrease in blog activity on the blogs I follow. I know that some of my old blog buddies got busy or bored or frustrated and quit the game, while others post less frequently and forget about comments… I wonder if blogging was a fad that is beginning to wane. :-/
I actually wonder why you SO want to be ‘that girl’ and want more bloggy followers etc…I mean, I obviously get it, we all love bloggy love, but you ARE that girl, you DO have lots of followers and you write awesome stuff! Who cares about the numbers and all that? I guess I just don’t. But let me tell you, you ARE that girl to me, you are awesome!!
Jessica, the best piece of advice I can offer is to be genuine in your writing. Be yourself, be authentic. Be the you on screen that you are in real life. And if you can, blog as though nobody is reading. That way, the only person you have to please is yourself.
You’re a great writer. The way you tell stories keeps me in stitches. (and Glen too) I want more stories about daily life. You have 5 fur kids. You are a work out queen. There is funny stuff there. I really enjoy the serious stuff too.
Have A great day!
The Kitchen Witch: First, love your name!…Second, this feels slightly awkward, since you’re new and I certainly don’t want to deter you from my usual bubbliness…but I really appreciate your comment and compliment. Hopefully…soon…I’ll have you laughing again.
Amy: You are right…and there is a reason for it. A good one, I think. One I may be able to share soon…and you have no idea what it means to me to hear that you love my writing. It means…so much. Truly. Thank you.
Melme: That statement, true as it is, is a hard one to swallow sometimes…”either they like you or they don’t” I guess in the beginning I had no idea how fickle blogging was…I didn’t understand the politics and all the mumbo jumbo that goes on. Writing for ME is probably the best thing I could do for me…and you.
jobo: You, my dear, never fail to make me smile. I take such inspiration from you…even though you probably didn’t know that
Wendi: You are absolutely right. And I am working on that…I am trying…I struggle…but I am trying. Thank you.
Brandy: Thank you! I love knowing that I make both you and Glen laugh, mostly because I actually KNOW you in the flesh and somehow, that carries a lot of weight. Like, a REAL PERSON likes me! (I’m partly kidding…) But I’m glad we can at least stay in touch through this blog (that part I am totally serious about
).
i’m stil reading, I just don’t comment because i’m lazy!!
I’m thinking it is a seasonal thing. My readership is down as well.
I vote we blog on and – as has been said – blog for us. No sense selling a fake product when our real products are most awesome, right?
apandorabox: hi love! Glad to know you’re still around!
Kitten Thunder’s Girl: sooo I guess it’s not just me. Good to know. And yes, I hate getting sold a bag of goods, so being ME will just have to be what you get, for better or worse…
Look at me, first time commenter =) I get that way with my blog sometimes. It’s hard to post and be relevant to everyone and also it’s hard when you don’t hear from some people that you used to. For me? I take it a step beyond the blog + comment; I email those I feel I can relate to (and I suspect I could relate to you since I’m about to move soon… and could use support I’m sure) and for some reason I’m better at emailing lately than opening my google reader. Maybe there are some of your readers who feel that way but are afraid to email you for some reason (it’s hard to take that next step occasionally).
Sorry that this comment is all over the map. But I can sympathize. And relate. And I guarantee you we are all here, if we don’t comment all the time.
xoxo
I’m still here! I just don’t usually comment as often because I’ve been reading on my ipod and it’s just a pain. I’m a sucky bloggy friend. Sorry!
I keep meaning to ask (and forgetting) but what computer did you and Tim finally end up getting?
I went with the 21.5 imac and I LOVE it!
I have your link on my page and it never updates. Maybe it’s just something I’m doing wrong, but if it’s also the case for other people, they may think you never post anything. In any case, I still think you have a lot of readers and comments…
You talkin’ to me…YOU TALKIN’ TO ME!!!
Movie line….
I’m not gone sweetie…it’s just rainin’ in Grapevine.
Nora: Yay! First timer!
And…thank you for that advice…it is actually really great advice. You can be a lot more personal (sometimes) to an individual via email than to a group on a blog – especially when you’re going through/have been through a similar situation. Thank you so much for being here – even if quietly. And if you need advice/tie to vent/etc on moving…please do email me. I’ve been there…I’m STILL there. 
nysoonergirl: You’re not a sucky bloggy friend! Don’t ever think that!!
PJ: We got…wow. I have no idea but I’m typing on it now. It may also be the 21.5 inch one with who knows what on the inside (Aperture…a guitar icon…something that looks like a star…obviously, I’m still learning….). But I am loving the Mac!
Maureen: Try to re-do the link…it was really messed up for awhile (me, not you).
Papa Guy: Raining? Like…flooding? Hope everyone is ok!
I’m still here! I’ll admit though, since I don’t always have time to read the day you post, sometimes I don’t give any feedback because then I’d be admitting I was days or weeks behind your world of honesty and hilarity! But I didn’t realize that might affect you… So I apologize. If I have feedback or comments or anecdotes, I’ll let you have ‘em. Even if they’re a few days late sometimes!