my reality…shattered
5 / 26 / 2011What do you say when the thing you thought was THE PINNACLE of what you could have is blown out of the water?
Let’s use my honeymoon as an example. At one point in my life, I was positive that the absolute best I could do was a honeymoon at one of the an all-inclusive Sandals Resort. Sandals seemed like it was just far enough out of reach to be a possibility. It wasn’t Florida but it wasn’t Tahiti, either. I’m not saying anything is wrong with Sandals…I’m just saying that, even in my wildest imagination, my brain didn’t even think to go to exotic, far away places with expensive five star hotels. I didn’t think that was within my realm of possibility. I didn’t think that was my reality.
So I just didn’t think about it.
I didn’t come from a family with oodles of money and I was content with what I had. I accepted and embraced my non-silver spoon status. I worked hard for the things I did have, just like my mom. I didn’t expect to marry up or down or in between. Marriage wasn’t in the cards for me. I’d just…make it…somehow…on my own.
The life I thought I was destined to have…I didn’t get it.
Even though I was never a huge proponent of marriage in the first place, I became enamored with the commercials for the Sandals Resort. I really don’t know what it was about them. I thought to myself at one point, that if I ever did get married, then my dream honeymoon would be Sandals. Those sunny beaches and crystal clear pools and happy couples sipping drinks looked too good to be true. I was convinced that if perfection could be served, it would be at Sandals with a paper umbrella in my straw.
Then…my life took a completely different, unexpected turn and I jumped the non-married shark. I found that I actually did want to get married…but this was only after I found the guy who allowed me to believe in marriage. He offered me his heart, along with stability and faithfulness. He gave me something I’d never known before: true love.
When the honeymoon discussion started, Tim already knew about my Sandals dreams. He knew I thought Sandals was the be all, end all to the most romantic, perfect honeymoon. In my mind, you couldn’t do any better than Sandals. Sandals was the best of the best. Sandals was THE place to go.
And Tim, instead of swaying me a different direction, wooing me with options like Fiji or Hawaii, said to me, “Do you want to go to Sandals for our honeymoon? I know you said how much you wanted to go…”
I still don’t even know what to say to that except…can a person BE ANY MORE SELFLESS? How can I not fall in love with him all over again when I think about that moment? He had the ability to take me anywhere…anywhere for our post-marital bliss and his first concern was to make sure I had the “honeymoon of my dreams.”
In the end, when it came down to selecting where we’d go after the wedding…we never quite made it to Sandals.
Instead, we went to Hawaii. A place I never imagined I’d actually get to visit back when Hawaii wasn’t even part of my wildest dreams.
Tim changed that…he altered my dreams…he gave me a new reality…a new outlook on life.
He saved his airline miles for years, starting before we even met, for the sole purpose to have enough to be able to fly first class to the future honeymoon destination. He planned for this before he even knew me. It’s like he was thinking of his future wife…looking out for her…taking care of her…before he ever met her.
Before he met me.
During our visits at each of the three islands we visited, we stayed at Turtle Bay…and the Princeville…and the Four Seasons.
I had my fairytale honeymoon.
And it was more than I ever dreamed it could be.
My life keeps getting better. Even when it’s hard or when things seem…not as perfect as they should be…I have to remind myself of Sandals.
Sandals is where my dreams started.
And now?
My dreams are anything I could possibly imagine. My reality is just that – real. My life is blessed. My marriage is full of love. My world has changed.
My world is so much more than Sandals.
I am proud of that…I am embracing my life.
My life may not always include the Four Seasons but it will always have a permanent existence with someone who is always there for me, who has my back and who always tries to give me the best of him.
When you are lucky enough to have someone like that, every day is like staying at the Four Seasons and when that is your reality, you could never ask or hope for more.
So, how about you? Has your reality ever been shattered?







constantly. i never dreamt that i would be with someone who was so selfless and dedicated to me… we’re not even married yet.
Even though I grew up with money (not a lot, but enough), nothing prepared me for when I was out on my own. I struggled because I had NO idea what it was like to not have money. Bob gave me financial security again and it took a lot off of my shoulders. But more importantly, he gave me his love and never asked for anything in return. Of course, he received mine back, but it was the selflessness that I knew of before we were in love that drew me to him.
I think I’m still waiting for my reality to start. I’ve only really had one I’ve cared about that much and that’s to see my book published and on bookshelves.
I’m constantly surprised to see myself getting closer to that goal and actually accomplishing the mini tasks I set myself like finishing the book etc. But in terms of seeing the things I love happen? I think it’s all waiting in the future and I’m really excited about what that will entail!
As for a guy… well, that one’s completely open. We’ll just have to wait and see.
This was such fun to read. I could practically see you smiling as you wrote this up. What a beautiful way to describe your relationship – he shattered your reality in the BEST way possible. I love that. But PS. Sandals is still kinda awesome, heh. I know, that wasn’t the point of your post and all, but I had to say it! lovely post!
OMG can I like, HUG this post?? I LOVE IT. I love the story you wound together and the way you closed it. So beautiful. While I am sure Sandals is wonderful I DID love Hawaii when I went…and would go again if I had the change. Kauai is beautiful (Princeville is gorgeous, yes!). I LOVE that TIm saved up all those miles and took you on such a wonderful trip. I love that he made you believe in marriage and I love that you are so in love and committed to each other. It’s awesome. As for me…well, as you know, M’s changed many a reality for me as well. Maybe I’ll write a post on it
suki: That is awesome! Just wait until it’s official…such a great feeling
Angela: That is so sweet! Being “secure” in all the areas of our life really make a difference…I think
Lisa: I’m so glad you’re getting close to finishing your book!! That is a goal of mine, too…though I am sure you’re way farther down the path than me.
Jess: Thank you! Is Sandals awesome? I mean, I wasn’t trying to knock it…it was the best example I could think of at the time.
jobo: YES! Do write about it! I’d love to hear how M shattered your own reality! And thank you. As hard as marriage is sometimes…it is those other moments that make it all so worth it.
Oh, I just loved that post! He saved his miles *before he even knew you*? SOB!
SO SWEET!