Thaaaaaaat’s riiiiiiight my little chickadees.

booshy is having A BABY!

(I’d post a picture…but my blog is currently broken – for serious.  And I have no idea how to fix it)

Yes, you and I both read that correctly.

A baby.

A real, live human one.

(I’ll wait for the shock to wear off…….)

(still waiting)

(it took me awhile, too….)

(actually, I don’t even think I’m used to it…yet)

I know.

Exciting. Crazy. Unexpected. Life changing.

I’m still kind of in shock.

Mostly because I’ve somehow managed to develop the kind of boobs only seen in the curtained off section in the movie rental store.

Anyhow, NOW, you know why I haven’t been blogging about much of anything lately. Hopefully everyone hasn’t abandoned me…

I know a few of you guessed my “condition” on Twitter…and I politely ignored you for the most part…even though I felt slightly biaotchish doing it…so I apologize Shannon and Jess. loveyoumeanit.

See, I’ve had to keep this little secret from everyone since we found out in late June. I mean, we did the proper thing and told our parents and our siblings already, so it’s not like this global announcement is a huge surprise to them – it just means they are now allowed to tell anyone who crosses their path.

Hear that, mommas? ANYONE.

And since we found out, EVERYTHING has been centered around this little bean in my bellah (we’re calling it Sprout). Our entire life has been mostly…totally…consumed by what is going to happen seven months from now.

Seven. Months.

That’s not exactly a very long time…yet it’s forever. I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone but me.

And, really, the timing…impeccable (insert sarcasm). I have my birthday on Groundhog’s Day (February 2 for those uninformed) and at that point I’ll be all huge and uncomfortable and then a few weeks later?

BABY.

Estimated due date? 2/17/12

Wowza.

THIS?

THIS is my big, fat secret that we didn’t want to share until we passed the 12-week mark.

(Hopefully I didn’t disappoint!)

Now, do your newly knocked up friend a massive favor and go forth and share the news and send EVERY SINGLE mommy-blogger person my way. Or send anyone who’ll listen to me and keep me sane…puhlease!!!

This sending of HALP!!, by the way, is the BIG FAVOR I was talking about a few weeks ago.

I repeat: I need HALP!

I’m brand spankin’ new to all of this…and I need lots and lots and lots and LOTS of people to tell me I’m not crazy. Or fat. Or going to permanently lose the body I’ve known for 28 years.

This whole experience is already freaking me out.

*I* am freaking out.

My *body* is freaking out.

I know I’m trying to be all Yay! and lighthearted about this, but seriously, if I’m totally honest about it, I am absolutely terrified.

I’m needy. And right now (the pregnancy hormones) aren’t afraid to admit that.

So, if you’re a lurker…now is the time to delurk. Even if it’s only through email.

I don’t think I’ve ever – EVER – needed more support than right now, during these next seven months (Holy crap. Seven months til Baby Gate).

Everything in my entire world…everything that I’ve ever known is about to be turned upside-down and inside out.

HALP!!!!!!!!

Oh, right. The good news. The bright side. You now have a front row seat to all of my stories and meltdowns that I’ve had to be all hush hush about. I mean, remember my assplosion at Mile High? That absolutely wasn’t an upset stomach.

THAT was courtesy of said pregnancy and the baby saying HELL NO…wait…my child doesn’t curse…heck? Heavens? Anyway, a big fat NO to Chinese food.

And my airport meltdown with Delta?

Hormones. Of the pregnancy variety.

See what I mean? My life has already been consumed!!

(PSA/hint-hint-wink-wink: Tim has already learned that you never say NO to a pregnant woman)