So, how’s your weekend shaping up?  Anything fun planned?

I’m sure you’ve noticed that my blog is still broken…apparently something happened that’s blocking my ability to do anything but type words into a box. Yay.

Anyhow, our weekend? Ehm…varied? We’re running…still in training mode for the half marathon. I’ll probably end up breaking my va-jay-jay again, but at least I’m prepared for it, I guess?

Also – put this down in Things No One Ever Tells You About Pregnancy – I still don’t *look* pregnant, yet, it now feels like my abdominal wall is tearing into pieces, especially if I stretch my arms over my head or elongate my torso in any way. SHOOTING PAINS. Stabby, unfun sensations that actually made me cry out last night because it hurt so much. Without any of this stretching, it almost feels like I spent an entire day – 24 full hours – doing crunches.  Then, if I try to stretch out the “stiffness” it hurts like an SOB. And by the way? I happen to really enjoy a good torso stretch. I have to wait months until I get another satisfying torso stretch. Just FYI.

In addition to the unexpected abdominal pains, I’ve yet to gain a single pound. This shocks me more than it probably should, but I’ve definitely been eating more and the “more” has included lots of high calorie delicious goodness.

Why I even bother, I have no idea, because it doesn’t seem to be helping. One would think that after a dinner consisting of a calzone the size of my face and three mozzarella sticks (OMG…craving…what is with this child and wanting BAD, BAD things?!) and then, the next night, a steak (deck of cards size, but, still), an entire baked potato with cheese, sour cream and salsa, asparagus and then, to follow that, a giant piece of pound cake with strawberries and whipped cream would at least net me half a pound.

No. I LOST half a pound after all of that AND we’ve only run once this week so far.

Granted, I also ate one too many prunes yesterday.  That was an exercise in portion control I’ll probably never forget for the rest of my life.

I think I’ve gone a little too far in the direction of TMI…and I still haven’t even told you about our weekend.

I’m getting there.

So, Saturday, Tim wants to go watch some high school aged chick knock someone out.  No, seriously.  Boxing or something.  Someone that works in his plant is a boxer. Like, a for serious boxer…but he keeps losing so he hasn’t climbed the boxing ladder – however that all works – I know nothing about boxing, but apparently he’s really good…anyway, I guess the place he practices of helps train younger boxers has this chick from another planet who is really good and has been knocking everyone out.  Tim found out she was fighting this weekend and wants to go.  So….that’s where I’ll be spending my Saturday afternoon – watching people beat the hell out of each other for fun and a trophy.  Also: blood. There will probably be blood and I will definitely need a bucket at my feet.  My stomach can barely handle certain smells and blood? No dice. But I’m trying to be a supportive wife…I want everyone to acknowledge my goodwill…EVEN WHEN I’VE GOT THE PREGNANCY QUEASY.

Granted, Sunday really isn’t any better, and I PLANNED IT.  Thing is, there is this Whole Foods that has been open for awhile and they are finally finished putting everything into place.  For months everything kept getting moved around while they “made” the seafood department and then the meat department and then the produce section.  It was like a never-ending work in progress.  I mean, since we’ve been here this store has been “under construction” in some shape or form – and we moved into our house in January.  That’s like, almost eight months of “almost ready.”  I’m guessing they felt bad because to celebrate the store being complete, they offered special “behind the scenes” tours of all of their departments, complete with (and here is where my great idea turns into a poor decision) samples from every department.

Samples.  Of things that make me want to barf, like seafood.

I’m so brilliant sometimes I don’t even know what to do with myself.

We also get a swag bag at the end…and that’s the part I’m most excited about.  Forget the samples.  Give me the swag!

And in-between all of this, I’ll probably be trying to figure out how to cram lots of calories into my face.

Happy weekend, friends!